Cutting right to the chase here to avoid taking up the spotlight, a few weeks back the District Attorney made a post [here] about the new Prince of Persia movie. This got me wondering; in the history of movies what were some of the worse adaptations around? Now, I know this sounds like an oxymoron because to be honest there are really (in the eyes of fan boys) no amazing adaptations out there. So let’s take a look at some WINS and FAILS. Leave your own below and I will be sure to comment!
Super Mario Bros (1993) – Do I really need to say more than has already been stated? Oh yes! Did the producers even play a Mario game? What I think they actually did was get their sons to tell them all about it. How else could you justify a human Bowser or a REAL dinosaur Yoshi. I am fully aware that Yoshi was a dinosaur but there’s something about the cute green shoe wearing creature that makes it wholesome. Nintendo’s game design guru Shigeru Miyamoto gave an interview [here] a few years back and said about the movie:
Well, when we first initiated talks about a Super Mario Bros, movie, I tried to emphasize the point that the Mario Bros. games are fun as video games and if we were going to make a Mario Bros. movie, that movie should be entertaining as a movie, and not a translation of the video game. I think that they tried very hard and in the end it was a very fun project that they put a lot of effort into. The one thing that I still have some regrets about is that the movie may have tried to get a little too close to what the Mario Bros. video games were. And in that sense, it became a movie that was about a video game, rather than being an entertaining movie in and of its self.
Game over, man.
So he is saying it turned into shit. There are far too many things for me to really get on about with this so I’ll just move on to another case.
Doom (2005) – The only redeeming quality for this movie was the first person sequence near the end. I have to give them credit for trying to incorporate the BFG. That was also neat. BUT that’s about where it stopped. The movie really only had a few ties to the game but not much else. Taken separately from the games it wasn’t too bad. I think this was still about the point where people also couldn’t take Dwayne Johnson seriously either though (video proof below).
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ap71XRu_8g[/youtube]
To be honest I really only popped the DVD into my Xbox to play the Doom 3 demo that was included: that made up for lost time. It’s said that some scenes were cut because of the “intense and graphic violence”. OK, so why make the not so bloody thing in the first place!? The people who would pay to see this movie are the same people who played the game and they know just how awesome and gross the game can get. I give up.
Alone in the Dark (2005) – Someone really should have slapped Maureen Webb the head of casting for this bomb of a movie. Except for the character names there isn’t really much of a tie in with the games at all. Perhaps a few similar occurrences that mostly came from Alone in the Dark 2. Of course Uwe Boll got his grubby hands into the honey pot and turned what could have been a decent thriller into a terrible excuse for an action flick. Here’s shocker: The lengthy opening text was added after test audience members said they were confused by the plot. You don’t say?
Tara Reid as a scientist, need I say more?
Even Blair Erickson couldn’t stand working with the man and his movie ruining ways. I don’t blame him. I’ve already wasted enough of my time watching the movie; I really don’t want to go into it about the terrible special effects, so we’re going to move on.
Postal (2007) – First I will start of on a high note- Uwe Boll’s balls get shot off. Now that I’ve ruined the only part worth watching of this movie you can quickly Google search the scene and enjoy. I’ve come to realize that there is a trend here, to see what I see, go here. Despite there being other terrible video game movies it seems that Uwe Boll has the Midas touch. That is if the Midas touch was causing mass amounts of nerd rage at the slaughter of what could be good movies. As seen in the clip below, he also thinks 9/11 was fine to joke about six years later, but I guess if Oliver Stone was ready to make money off of it Boll can follow along. When Wired published a negative review of Postal, Boll responded with an e-mail claiming that the critic “didn’t understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you don’t see courage because you are nothing. and go to your mum and fuck her …because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it”. Boll claims that this angry email [all of this found here] was sparked not by the review, but because the Wired editor told Boll in person that the editor loved the movie then published a negative review. He told the guy to go fuck his mom, that’s almost a win.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiB7n8XWfyY[/youtube]
After hearing about the FAILS of video game movies isn’t it about time for the WINS? Heck yes! There’s definitely few and far between in the way of WINS but that doesn’t make them any less fun. The best part is Uwe Boll won’t be mentioned past this point. Once again in no particular order I bring to you the best that the movie industry has to offer in the way of being unoriginal.
Silent Hill (2006) – There’s been a lot of debate about this, it was released before the game Origins was released that used many of the same elements that were present in this movie. It’s very obvious that the director had a passion for Silent Hill which I think was rewarded as now it seems to find a home in the world it was forged from. Being a huge fan of Silent Hill myself I had a hard time taking this movie seriously at first until I found myself finding very similar elements in both Origins and Homecoming. Everything in this movie shows dedication to the games as well as set design, costume design, and horror! I couldn’t recommend this movie more. Silent Hill YOU DID IT RIGHT.
Tomb Raider- (2001) – If anyone has ever had the time to play any Tomb Raider game you know that this would have been very difficult to mess up. You only need three essential things to make this movie feel like the games: Boobs, endangered species being shot at, and a tomb. Perhaps the second thing wasn’t really there in the movie, but everything else was nailed.
If you even look past those elements it’s got some “puzzle” solving as Lara has to figure out how to find the pieces of *ancient spoiler!*. 1UP for male driven video game plots that make gems like this possible.
Dead or Alive- 2006 – Let me be the first to say it- wow these girls kick high. With most fighting games there’s only a basis of a plot that they’re following. If you really consider it, this movie is pretty much as good as the game. It ties in the elements from DOA Extreme and DOA to create a testosterone driven story. Did I mention the kicking high? Not unlike the previously mentioned Tomb Raider it only needed a few elements to make it a spitting image of the game. As usual however people raged about the lame dialogue and over the top fighting scenes. My guess is they didn’t ever play the games or were to distracted by the skimpy little costumes. Check out this bad-ass fight scene.
Hitman-2007 – Wait what? Why would I put this here? Well, if you think about it this movie is more Hitman than it is fail. The director definitely put a few nods to the way of gamers who went to the movie knowing what it was going to be about. High angled shots and even two boys playing the game as agent 47 bursts through are only a few of the things that make me feel putting Hitman in the WINS is a good choice. For what it is, a violent fast-paced thriller, based on a video game of all things – it’s actually entertaining.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z9EyP38SIM[/youtube]
Tags: alone in the dark, dead or alive, doom, hitman, postal, silent hill, super mario bros, tomb raider, video game, win some fail some
True, just like the 1st Street Fighter Movie
But Mario has that factor that it's so aweful it's funny factor to it. It makes me smile.
Trust me, you weren't missing much not knowing.
Thanks for the feedback.
i didnt know there was a mario movie. LAME!
fantastic though for tomb raider and silent hill.
You good sir, have failed at spelling Mortal Kombat. You have dishonored gamers everywhere and for that . *Rips off mask and breaths fire torching your body* FATALITY!!!!!
Actually, Doom 3 was released on PC on August 3rd, 2004, and Xbox April 3rd 2005. The Movie was released on October 21st, 2005 in NA. So the game came first, but the movie did start development after the release of the game in 2004 when the rights where given back to Universal Pictures.
Spelling: FAIL.
Silent Hill was one of my favourites. It's when you get true fanboys creating movie adaptations that we get gems like this. About MK I think I'm going to have to swing to the video store tonight and rent it. It's about time. Thanks for the feedback
I was only listing a few for each catagory I'm affraid. I'm sorry that I missed out on MK but I truly have yet to see it. I also had to stay away from the Uwe Boll movies as much as possible because it seems that every video game movie that is utterly terrible is in some way his. It seemed a little one sided if you ask me. ALSO, I quite enjoyed DOOM but in the original context of the games before 3 which as you know was released at around the same time as the movie thus why the demo is on the movie itself. This kind of sways the way the DOOM story goes. AS a DOOM lover I'd have to say that 3 wasn't as good as the older ones.
Agreed, the original Mortal Kombat (You people disappoint me with your misspelling of the title lol) is one of the best video game based movies, but I will say that I find Doom is closer to the game then you think. Specifically cause it was based off Doom 3. A selection of monsters from the game are there. The Hell Knights, Imps, and my personal favorite, Pinky (Okay yes they took away Pinky's Metal legs and gave him wheels instead but a small change, still the same general look). The setting is the same. Your in a research facility on Mars…. not much else to it then that in both the game and movie. They got the guns as well. I will say the only major changes that I noticed are that Sarge (Played by Dwayne Johnson), becomes the villain in the movie where he is the hero in the game, and that rather then having them open a gate to hell letting out monsters demons like in the game, they designed it around an alien mutation cause by adding a 24th chromosome to human DNA in an attempt to create a super soldier. I can agree with your other choices though. I do have some suggestions for a continuation for this article. Wing Commander, Far Cry, actually scratch Far Cry, it was done by Uwe Boll so clearly a fail, the Resident Evil films, the Street Fighter films, and many others.
I thought Silent Hill was a pretty good game based movie. For everything above it, I can't believe the directors were happy with that shit. Also Sean is right, MORTAL COMBAT FTW!
MORTAL COMBAT! total win.