The City V. 007 « City of Films

The City V. 007

So the hype is gearing up again; the rumors are swirling, the buzz is building, and the martinis are being shaken. As if there was any doubt; James Bond’s return to the silver screen is quickly approaching. It seems like just yesterday that an underwhelming Quantum of Solace was debuting nationwide. But fear not, whether it is as a ‘special advisor’, or in a directorial capacity, Sam Mendes has been tabbed to helm the next 007 adventure. With such films as American Beauty, Road to Perdition, and Jarhead under his belt, fans are craving a return to Casino Royale form. With that, let’s take a gander at the District Attorney’s latest case: The City V. 007. In this case we will examine 3 areas in which Mendes can improve upon to breathe life back into this franchise.

Have some more sloppy Bond movies. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.

1. Lose the Continuous Storyline

What was wrong with the one off adventures? With the success of Casino Royale it seems like everyone just got lazy. Why create a new adventure when you can rehash the old one right? UH UH. Don’t get me wrong, Bond and Jaws in space was wretched, but common, there’s got to be something better than a solar powered house exploding for 30 minutes. The fact that the plot is determined based upon the outcome of Casino Royale really leaves little room to flesh out the story. Instead of becoming a Bond movie, it felt more like a Hollywood action flick, and quite sloppy.

2. Bond is a chauvinistic, sexist spy who makes puns in poor taste.. make him act like it.

Okay so the title kind of sums up what I am about to rant about. I am as progressive and ‘with it’ as the next guy. I consider women equals in all aspects of life. Now that I have that out of the way let me say this, I miss Bond’s general malaise for the opposite sex. Whether it’s slapping a woman’s backside and simply saying ‘man talk’, or informing a fem that he wants to ‘get something off her chest’; the sexism and the bad puns are what shaped the Bond character in the early years, this gritty character is what endeared us to the franchise. Speaking of bad puns, upon killing Odd Job, all 007 can say, with a glimmer in his eye, is ‘positively shocking’. He just killed a man, and he still had the wit to pull off one of those trademark one liners. This is the bond I grew up with.

3. Gadgets. Where are all of the flippin gadgets?

Probably the most obvious aspect missing from the Daniel Craig era of the Bond franchise, no Q! Granted they would have a hard time replacing the late great Desmond Llewelyn; but no submarine cars, no jet pack, and no ‘Little Nelly’. For many of us who weren’t born within the last 10 years, it’s hard to imagine a 007 without such toys that help him narrowly escape death time and time again. If there is one single thing that can bring a feeling of nostalgia and can connect the new films with the legacy of the franchise, it’s the gadgets.

Hopefully Bond 23 won't be a flaming bag of poop.

So there you have it. A very quick look at what can be done to breath new life into the Bond franchise. Whether or not the folks at MGM heed my warnings is yet to be seen. With all of that being said, the court is adjourned for today.

The District Attorney Will Be Back In: The City V. The Over Use of Billy Madison Quotes

Hopefully these will hold you over until Bond 23

Meet The Real James Bond

Casino Royale Intro Feat. You Know My Name – Chris Cornell

We Miss The Gadgets.. But you can watch Little Nelly in action!

Tags: american beauty, casino royale, daniel craig, desmond llewelyn, jarhead, quantum of solace, road to perdition, sam mendes

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