The City of Films SUMMER MOVIE GUIDE 2012



Release: June 1
Directed By
: Rupert Sanders
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron
Synopsis: In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen.

Analysis: Kristen Stewart is an awful actress, no one can show me evidence to defend that. Charlize Theron is the whole package and could make this one worth seeing, it’s a story that’s been told or butchered many times already, in the words of the crying kid on The Simpsons, “Stop,’s already dead”.


Release: June 1
Directed By
: John Gulager
Starring: Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff
Synopsis: After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.

Analysis: This would be for all the boys out there who forgot free breasts existed on the Internet. That or college guys wanting a new drinking game: drink every time the movie is self-aware. Many will die.

Also Opening: High School


Release: June 8
Directed By
: Ridley Scott
Starring: Noomi Rapace, Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender
Synopsis: A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

Analysis: This would be in my top 5 anticipated summer movies, it looks great, sounds great and is brought to us by one of the masters of sci-fi horror. This could surprise a lot of people and be one of the year’s best.


Release: June 8
Directed By
: Eric Darnell
Starring: Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett Smith, Chris Rock
Synopsis: Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent – Madagascar style.

Analysis: I won’t lie, I didn’t know they made a second one until I posted a trailer a few weeks ago. Someone is watching these, and those Ice Age movies, it’s those poor parents I worry about going bust this summer with so many movies their kids with bad taster want to see.

Also Opening: Bel Ami, Safety Not Guaranteed


Release: June 15
Directed By
: Adam Shankman
Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Bryan Cranston, Alec Baldwin
Synopsis: Set in 1987 Los Angeles, Drew and Sherrie are two young people chasing their dreams in the big city. When they meet, it’s love at first sight, though their romance will face a series of challenges.

Analysis: You can’t fault Tom Cruise for trying to get into everyone’s good graces again even if that means singing and dancing. It was cool when he was hanging out a window on the world’s tallest building, but this is a risk Tom.


Release: June 15
Directed By
: Sean Anders
Starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg
Synopsis: While still in his teens, Donny (Adam Sandler) fathered a son, Todd (Andy Samberg), and raised him as a single parent up until Todd’s 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd’s world comes crashing down.

Analysis: I’m still waiting for the return of Adam Sandler to comedy, why he keeps taking the easy way out is beyond me. OK it’s not, there are people who pay to see his shitty movies, but man release a good one very so often for your fans who grew up with you.

Also Opening: The Woman in the Fifth


Release: June 22
Directed By
: Timur Bekmambetov
Starring: Benjamin Walker, Rufus Sewell, Dominic Cooper
Synopsis: Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them.

Analysis: Could it be a let down? Yes. Should it be? No. Don’t go into this one thinking it’s going to be award winning entertainment, like a lot of people did with Cowboys vs. Aliens for some reason. It’s called Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter…you will have to turn down your sophistication for 90 minutes.


Release: June 22
Directed By
: Brenda Chapman , Mark Andrews
Starring: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson
Synopsis: Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse.

Analysis: Another anticipated movie of mine, this movie looks amazing visually much like any Pixar film. The set pieces and landscape here of Scotland (where I was born, oh yes) add a whole other level of opportunity to stun our eyes, I’m sure it will.


Release: June 22
Directed By
: Lorene Scafaria
Starring: Steve Carell, Keira Knightley
Synopsis: As an asteroid nears Earth, a man finds himself alone after his wife leaves in a panic. He decides to take a road trip to reunite with his high school sweetheart. Accompanying him is a neighbor who inadvertently puts a wrench in his plan.

Analysis: They had me at Talking Heads’ “Road to nowhere” in the trailer. Steve Carell will continue his streak of screaming in every movie he’s ever in and Knightly will continue her streak of being adorable.

Also Opening: To Rome with Love


Release: June 29
Directed By
: Seth MacFarlane
Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis
Synopsis: A story centered on a man and his teddy bear, who comes to life as the result of a childhood wish.

Analysis: If Family Guy sucking this season is an indication that Seth MacFarlane has been putting his time and energy into this film, I’ll believe it. It looks really funny, even reminds of Drop Dead Fred, a movie I could still probably laugh at today.

Also Opening: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection, Magic Mike, Take This Waltz, People Like Us


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