Oh Roger, never change. This might be the funniest review the great Roger Ebert has ever written. I figure you can go read the whole things here, but also that I would provide some of the best quotes from his review. Sex And The City 2 opens this weekend? Looks racist and stupid, so it will be #1. Ebert goes to say:
“Some of these people make my skin crawl…their defining quality is consuming things. They gobble food, fashion, houses, husbands, children, vitamins and freebies. They must plan their wardrobes on the phone, so often do they appear in different basic colors, like the plugs you pound into a Playskool workbench.”
“…marital crisis., Carrie thinks they should talk more. But sweetheart, Mr. Big has nothing to say. At least he’s provided you with a Manhattan apartment that looks like an Architectural Digest wet dream.”
“Miranda is a high-powered lawyer who is dissed by her male chauvinist pig boss. Samantha is still a sexaholic slut. Charlotte has the two little girls she thought she wanted, but now discovers that they actually expect to be raised. Mothers, if you are reading, run this through your head. One little girl dips her hands in strawberry topping and plants two big handprints on your butt. You are on the cell to a girlfriend. How do you report this? You moan and wail out: “My vintage Valentino!” Any mother who wears her vintage Valentino while making muffin topping with her kids should be hauled up before the Department of Children and Family Services.”
“There’s more cleavage in this film than at a pro wrestler’s wedding. And crotches, have we got crotches for you. Big close-ups of the girls themselves, and some of the bulgers they meet.”
“That nation supplies magnificent desert scenes, achieved with CGI, I assume, during which two of the girls fall off a camel. I haven’t seen such hilarity since Abbott and Costello in the Foreign Legion.”
“A sample of Carrie’s realistic dialogue in a marital argument: “You knew when I married you I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.” Carrie also narrates the film, providing useful guidelines for those challenged by its intricacies. Sample: “Later that day, Big and I arrived home.”
“I am obliged to report that this film will no doubt be deliriously enjoyed by its fans, male couch potatoes dragged to the film against their will may find some consolation, I was gob-smacked by the delightful cleavage on display. Do women wear their lowest-cut frocks for each other?”
Tags: review, roger ebert, sex and the city
