The year was 1994.  Kevin Smith took Sundance and Cannes by storm with his low budget and highly intellectual comedy Clerks.  Miramax took on the film and it was smooth sailing from there.  Awards and praise for the film and filmmaker with future rankings such as “number 34 on Bravo’s 100 Funniest Movies” [list].  It has since spawned comics, toys, a sequel and millions of fanboys for Kevin Smith.  This film ranks high for me and has the privilege above all other Kevin Smith films as being his best work with Chasing Amy coming in at a strong second.  Familiarize yourself with Kevin Smith:

Cop Out (2010) – Director
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) – Writer/Director
Clerks II (2006) – Writer/Director
Jersey Girl (2004) – Writer/Director
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) – Writer/Director
Dogma (1999) – Writer/Director
Chasing Amy (1997) – Writer/Director
Mallrats (1995) – Writer/Director
Clerks (1994) – Writer/Director

This article, that to be honest, has been in the back of my mind for several years now has come now after the release of his movie Cop Out and very public ‘meet me at the monkey bars’ fight with South West Airlines.  I need to get a good night’s sleep already.  Some may not agree with what I have to say – some may even have other points they want to make for and or against my article.  I welcome all of it, let’s get this going.

Matt Champagne Thinks Kevin Smith Sucks.

He’s the only filmmaker I know who publicly puts down other filmmakers and artists.  Sure there is a lot of infighting in the entertainment industry, but to make a tour out of telling one sided stories?  Time out.  Smith comes off as very self-serving and arrogant.  And I ask why?  Because he made Mallrats?  He found something that works, poop jokes.  His strongest writing came with Chasing Amy, I thought “this is it, Kevin has graduated, he is about to…oh Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, never mind”.  Clerks II came out; I thought “ok now this is it, he’s about to…advertise Zack and Miri so it looks like a Judd Apatow movie?” On Zach and Miri Kevin says: “That was supposed to be the one that punched us through to the next level. Everyone thought it would do $60 (million) to $70 million, and it wound up doing Kevin Smith business. I was like, ‘I’m done.’ If I were to write at that point in my life, it would about the poor fat kid whose movie didn’t make enough money.” That actually might be a good movie Kevin.  In Zach and Miri, Kevin Smith directs Judd Apatow-regular, Seth Rogen, and Elizabeth Banks, who appeared in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Look, I am already starting to lose focus; I’m all over the place with rage.

Kevin has attacked everyone from Tim Burton to Reese Witherspoon to TV GUIDE to critic A.O. Scott to Patrick Swayze to Steven Spielberg to ABC to Prince to Howard Stern.  Here are some highlights:  Tim Burton didn’t want Kevin to work on Superman [this was back when a good Superman movie was going to be made] choosing not to use his script [here].  In my opinion Tim Burton doesn’t have to answer to Kevin Smith. So what does Kevin do? Kevin goes on to trash talk Tim Burton; giving away bootleg scripts of his own Superman script [which was better than Superman Returns I should say] and writes “Fuck Tim Burton” on them.  Slow clap.

Tim Burton can do what he wants.

Smith attacks JAWS and Spielberg after Spielberg’s company refuses to let him use footage from JAWS in Jersey Girl. He picks a fight on his forum with Spielberg fans by mocking Spielberg’s desire to re-cut E.T. and by suggesting that Spielberg’s decision not to let JAWS in Jersey Girl has something to do with him wanting to re-cut JAWS, which is not true.

Prince and Kevin get into a war of words over a documentary project that Prince simply isn’t happy with.  So Kevin begins a never-ending campaign (which still hasn’t ended) to mock and ridicule Prince on his forums and on the college circuit.   TV Guide pokes fun at Kevin’s dozen or so boring/bad TV cameos on sitcoms and shows like MADtv. They give him a jeers on their column. To which, Kevin attack TV GUIDE by saying that TV GUIDE is a “bankrupt, useless document”. Apparently, it is okay for Kevin to mock anything, but gee gollies don’t talk bad about the man who appeared in Degrassi: The Next Generation [here].

Smith attacked ABC for pulling the plug on the awful Clerks cartoon.  Smith must not have realized that South Park doesn’t air on a Disney Channel.  Smith called Howard Stern “a liar” and formally boycotted his show and announcing that he was refusing to ever interact with him simply because Stern wanted to poke fun at Kevin’s insecurity. Gee could Howard Stern be joking?

Howerd Stern Pissed Him Off.

In more recent news, Kevin Smith in his best efforts to get attention and get asses in the seats to see Cop Out had a very viral and public fight with Southwest Airlines.  On February 13, 2010, Kevin Smith was on board a Southwest Airlines flight when he was removed from the plane over concerns he was too obese to fly safely.  After being booked on a later flight and being offered a $100 Southwest Airlines voucher, which he turned down, Smith lashed out at Southwest Airlines on his Twitter account and podcast.

Due to Southwest Airlines’ inconsistent statements about what happened it is not known precisely why Southwest’s crew chose to remove Smith from the aircraft.  You’re all thinking what I am thinking…the pilot saw Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  Smith also released 24 video statements on YouTube further describing the incident.  Atta boy.

Maybe it’s me getting on in years or maybe it’s that my developing taste for good writing and good movies in general that has me jaded.  I credit the man for making me laugh numerous times; there is no knocking his writing skills.  If only they were put to good use, the lowest common denominator can only work for so long.  His self-aggrandizing nature that has him fawned over by his loyal fans puts a bad taste in ones mouth.  To put it simply, grow up Kevin Smith.

How do you know this is a scene from a Kevin Smith film? Bodily functions might be a clue.

Related posts:

1. Our Little Kevin Spreads His Wings
2. Men In Black 3 Happening With Smith and Jones
3. Kevin Smith Whines Again
4. Today’s Links
5. Today’s Links

Tags: chasing amy, clerks, kevin smith, tim burton, zach and miri